After witnessing the magic and beauty of motherhood up close, I often wondered how this was something I would never get to experience as a man. As a soon-to-be father then, I saw firsthand how tough, challenging, and stressful the 9-month journey is for a mother. I also observed some stories on pregnancies around and reflected on my personal experiences. This compilation captures some of these thoughts, which I feel compelled to share with expecting mothers, from a man's perspective.
Motherhood begins the moment you conceive.
The journey of 9 months is unique to each and everyone. Some pregnancies are easy (easy = straightforward without being stressful), while some are difficult, and others are full of challenges.
All of this feels like a game where, only a mother can experience the magical world of raising a fetus in her womb.
While each trimester feels like a test, I've observed some common patterns. I don't have first-hand experience with the physical aspects of pregnancy, nor am I an expert in those areas.
The following points focus solely on the psychological aspects of navigating this journey.
Uncertainties and living in the moment
In these moments, where excitement mingles with uncertainty every moment, remember to breathe.
Remember to stay in the moment, be present.
Life is uncertain in every possible way, and it is going to be this way the whole of our lives.
Always remind yourselves to take it one day at a time, moment by moment.
Taunts & negativity
“I feel nauseated with that smell”
“I am just in my first trimester and have a terrible backache”
“I am all good and I feel healthy”
Every statement and every physical state is unique to you. You do not have to feel how others have felt.
Each journey is unique. There is no set template available yet, to gauge if anything you are feeling is good, bad, or abnormal.
Stay away from other mothers who smirk and say “Yes I have raised 2 kids too” when they hear your state of mind.
It doesn’t matter how many kids others may have raised, doesn’t make them an expert to taunt others.
A woman demotivates other woman more often than a man does. So understand who is there to help, and stick around those who make you feel good about yourself. The rest of all can wait.
Staying afloat and away from the taunts and overall negativity is the best possible way to compose your piece of mind.
Freeloading instructions/advices
Staying away from instructions and free advices is equally important too. Instructing someone feeds a persons ego, and hence they feel empowered and keep instructing.
Let them instruct. You do what you feel right in your heart. You are a mother too.
Do not judge yourself based on thoughts others are imposing on you.
You are not alone
‘Be gentle to yourselves, and to your partner'
This might be the first experience, or you may have experienced this journey before. But remember to be gentle to yourself. And remember that you are not alone.
Being benign to yourself is the key.
And even though your partner may not be having a direct change to their hormones, they are under stress and pressure too.
Take it easy and keep it light.
Channel your emotions through an open 2-way communication. Things find their way.
And to all the soon-to-be fathers
To all you fathers, we know we have our own struggles too. But this is about the mothers for now, so lets stick to it.
Try to cook her favourite dish, take her out when possible.
Explore the nature, feel the earth from time to time.
Keep her cheerful. Listen to good music together, or sing a song for her.
Remember, you don't have to be an expert to do something for someone else. It's the act of doing it, with your personal touch, that makes it truly special.
Parting thoughts
We can never control the surrounding vibe, but we can definitely control how we react to all of it. And I feel the best way to have a composed mind is by being mindful, and by being gentle to ourselves.
Be still amidst the chaos; serenity is found within. ✨
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Well written!
I must say, The true thoughts you’ve mentioned here.