a simple yet complicated one
Year 2011. The time when a good weekend meant binge drinking or going to the movies or binge drinking or restaurant hopping or binge drinking.
I was pursuing my MBA then. Why? Because everyone else was doing it too (probably deserves another blog).
The weekend plans would generally start to bloom right from Friday afternoon. And would eventually end up in a late nighter.
Fortunately, I had a fun group. One phone call and 2-3 of us would meet. Then we would call others, and so on. A pyramid scheme, one might say! Not everyone was “busy” in those days.
My father and his room
I used to live in a house, surrounded by other houses so close by, that even the breeze could barely slip in. So this meant noise from other homes creating a symphony no one would ever understand.
My father had the same routine the entire day (I have written about his physical condition here), for all the days of the week. He usually used to sit in his room, reading newspaper.
After doing that, he used to switch to reading a book. Then a nap. Followed by tea.
If at all there was something interesting on the TV, he used to watch it in the hall. But more or less, 15-18 hours were being spent in the room, amidst all the chaos happening around.
One dull Friday evening
After all the weekend schedule I have mentioned above, there used to be some weekends when everyone else would indeed be busy. And then I used to question my life out of boredom!
On one such dull evening, after checking with most of the folks in the group, I sat at home - deciding to watch a movie by myself. Apparently everyone else were busy that evening.
My father called me in his room, for some assistance. I went.
His room always had a different energy. Yes I was surrounded by all the commotion, but I think my father’s positivity always conquered any negative space .
I helped him with his task, and sat there for a while - observing what he was doing.
My father noticed something was off, and he asked about my plans for the evening. I told him that I had none. He was surprised, finding me home on a Friday evening.
Being unable to get over my boredom, and wondering how come a person who has the same routine every single day and be equally positive towards life, I asked him -
“Baba, you are here in this room everyday, doing similar activities everyday of the week. Do you never get frustrated? How do you deal with it?”
He smiled at me.
“Through acceptance.” He said.
I was confused.
“I have accepted my condition. This has helped me to make peace with my limitations. Hence there is no question of getting frustrated with thinking of things I am unable to do. I instead think of what all I can do and spend my day accordingly”.
Enlightenment
I came back to my room, and sat on the chair. It was pretty comfortable, I noticed.
Still absorbing what my baba shared earlier, I sat there - gazing in the oblivion.
Evening sun was partially out of the darker clouds, and a golden light sparkled through my room. My golden hour moment.
I had no more complaints, or any sort of discomfort anymore.
Acceptance vs Limitation
Acceptance never means limiting yourself. It is mostly about striking the right balance between the current situation and overcoming it.
We are naturally tuned to focus on the not part - things that we can not do or do not have. This easily slides away the things we actually have.
But the simple conversation with my father opened different horizon of thinking.
Acceptance leads to peace. The thing that everyone has been seeking.
Today marks the 2nd death anniversary of baba.
All the time while he was around, he unknowingly parted first-hand wisdom on life. I never even realised it then.
But I am grateful for all the lessons, for he has definitely made my life simpler through the lessons from his hardships.
Thank you baba ❤️
Very touching!!!!
Keep writing Bharat..
Lovely ❤️
Best
💖