Enjoying life!

Whenever we hear the word “Life”, we can sense some sort of wisdom enlightenment to follow next. Well I am neither a priest, nor someone who has lived long enough to impart teaching on living a happier life. But each situation you get into, it directly or indirectly teaches you a lesson and impacts you as a human. This ability depends on how you take the situation.

The following is one of the basics that I learned early in my life, and from the best person I could possibly have learned this from - my father.

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My father has been physically challenged for more than 32 years of his life. Few years into his married life after the first child was born (my elder brother), he was diagnosed with syringomyelia. This is a generic term referring to a disorder in which a cyst or cavity forms within the spinal cord (Wikipedia). In simple terms, my father’s spine was weak and would soon deform. The doctors suggested getting this operated, having clarified to us the side-effects of the operation. This situation heads way back to 1987, where the medical facilities weren't advanced like today. After the operation, his left side of the body got paralysed. But talk about will power and the power of people around you, he managed to complete his job for the next 30 years and got retired in 2010.

As the years passed by, his health started deteriorating, making him more dependent on others to do his daily chores. Imagine the pain to ask for water when thirsty, or not being able to eat with a spoon or not being able to use the loo by himself when needed. No matter how good care has been taken by the people around him (all credit to my mom), still the satisfaction of independently doing the few mentioned things above is incomparable. The frustration that he might have held is tremendous and unimaginable.

Fast forward to 2015, when WhatsApp - the chat messenger came into boom. Though WhatsApp was released way before, but by 2015, it had become an important tool to connect with people for all age groups. Hence we decided to get my father a new tablet device, so that he can spend some time learning and connecting with his other friends using the chat messenger.

I was creating a new profile for my father, and we were scrolling through a bunch of his pictures, finalising one as his display picture. The conversation to follow next changed my approach towards life.

I informed him that we can set a status message for his WhatsApp profile, so that others can know what the person is up to these days. WhatsApp provides a few preset statuses like Busy, Cant talk - WhatsApp only etc. I asked him if he wants to use one of the preset ones or has something on his mind. He said, let's keep "Enjoying life."

I was stunned. Not because I disagree that he was indeed enjoying his life, but by the idea of what "enjoyment" really is. He is the person who has been struggling to walk, or to even get up from bed himself for the past 30+ years. He is dependent on the caretaker who comes at a specific time, for then he can go out to meet his friends in the evening. With the struggles being part of his daily life, a simpler definition of enjoyment was fascinating.

The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them. – Paulo Coelho

His logic was simple. A retired person who has his kids settled in good jobs, having better-suited life partners for themselves sums up to a satisfied life. No loud, glorified enjoyment or happiness bullshit.

And there I was, on the other end of the spectrum, looking at materialised approaches towards “enjoyment”. Most of us have been there, adjudging enjoyment to something bigger on scale - the beach vacation you are planning, going out with friends to watch a movie or a few drinks, owning that piece of metal that gets you around on 4 wheels. All that is fine, and these things give you happiness too. But how are you living your daily life? Are you able to, or even think of enjoying it? The whining about traffic, constant cribbing about your n’th job you changed, dissatisfaction about the money you earn - the list is endless.

The crux, maybe, is that enjoyment is relative. Instead of waiting on to enjoy your life on that next vacation of yours i.e on a specified time of your life, you can try looking at the brighter side of things today and live the day with satisfaction. Because in the long run, the problems that seem to take away your today's happiness are going to increase exponentially. Then one fine day, your life might flash in front of your eyes - the life you spent constantly whining about the trivial things you couldn't control yourself directly.

The following picture sums up the definition of happiness. My father savouring his favourite fish on a lunch with bright smile is "Enjoying life" indeed.

Happy birthday, Baba!